Dear Khun Munthana, I'm wondering where you stand on the "beautiful is important than smart" issue? To give you my background, I graduated with a bachelor's degree from a reputable government university in Thailand and went on to earn a second degree from a university in the US, graduating with a high GPA.
I have eight years work experience with two international companies. I'm employed as a deputy manager at my current company, a firm I have been with for six years.
Another young lady joined the company on the same day as me and she is also a deputy manager. She is pretty, sweet, far more glamourous compared to me and has always attracted attention, especially from members of the opposite sex.
That is not what irks me, though. I am good at my job and have been promoted twice while with my current employer. However, I was stunned last week when my boss informed me in private that he planned to promote my pretty colleague to full manager status ahead of me.
I am not jealous of her beauty but I can't help feeling that this promotion is unfair on me given that I'm better at the job than she is (I've even had to help her complete her work on occasion). I don't want to believe that I am being passed over based on looks but what other reason could that be? What can I do in this situation?
Ugly Duckling
Dear Ugly Duckling
Intelligence is a long-term quality! If you'll forgive the pun, the beauty of being smart is that your intelligence strengthens and sharpens as time goes by. Conversely, being pretty tends to be relatively short-term and good looks fade over time (unless you're a fan of regular Botox injections).
I do not have details of your performance or that of your colleague and thus, I can't comment on which of you might be more deserving of promotion. However, I can say that from a psychological point of view people who project a positive outlook are more likely to be perceived in a positive way, irrespective of their looks.
In my book you already have every reason to be positive because being born smart is similar to winning the 1st prize in a lottery.
You know you have the intelligence and, as in the children's story, there is no reason why an ugly duckling can't grow into a beautiful swan. So, be mindful of how your personality effects the way people perceive you and work on being as professional in your presentation as possible.
Heading towards that goal?Consider the following:
- Exercise hard at least three times a week for 30 minutes or until you "feel the burn". Feeling fit and healthy boosts performance and confidence and others will notice.
- Inner beauty is always more important than physical attractiveness. So try to maintain a good nature at all times (I find meditation helps decrease the kind of stress and anger that makes me crabby).
- Learn to speak in a moderate tone but remember a monotone is a no-no tone.
- Be polite and offer to help others when opportunities arise.
- Laugh at least five times a day. If you can't laugh in the office then give yourself something to smile about at home.
- Think positively and treat every unexpected issue as a challenge.
- Select your attire appropriately - comply with your company's dress code and make sure you appearance is professional (tip: Avoid wearing strong perfume).
Once you are happy in mind and body I'm sure you will become the fast-rising swan you want to be.
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